This is surprisingly common complaint. And the worst thing about it is that the offending lawyer rarely realizes that it is happening.
Research indicates that professional service providers are often not proficient at comprehending the relationship from the client’s point of view. For clients, the legal world can be confusing and anxiety provoking. Terse, impatient, sarcastic communication from an attorney is perceived as disrespectful, condescending, and alienating. As obvious as this may seem, we hear this complaint with astonishing frequency.
Empathy is often mistakenly perceived as being wimpy, unnecessarily conciliatory, or subservient, and therefore is often devalued as an important interpersonal skill. In fact, empathy is none of these things. Empathy means being able to understand how another perceives a situation and incorporating those perceptions into your dialogue using your own words. It means actually listening for the client’s concerns. Too often, attorneys minimize the client’s concerns internally and outwardly cursorily nod and add an occasional, “umm hmmm.”
The problem can be exacerbated by a firm culture that tolerates criticizing and making fun of clients among attorneys and staffs. Lawyers frequently describe client interaction as an impediment to completing important work, belittling clients’ lack of knowledge and disparaging their “foolish” decisions. This is unfortunate because these negative feelings will find their way into the communication with clients in the form of impatience and sarcasm. Lawyers too often forget that clients’ lack of legal expertise and ability to make informed decisions is precisely the reason they rely so heavily on the guidance of the firm. It is imperative to notice hostile attitudes within the firm culture, discourage them, and, if necessary, reprimand this form of expression.
Attorneys should strive to communicate with clients in a way that demystifies complex legal issues and procedures. This is a difficult skill to develop, but doing so can be a powerful differentiator. The ability to communicate to a client that you respect and are willing to understand his or her concerns translates into long-term, loyal clients and job security for you.
We worked with a firm that nearly lost a crucial account because of hostility and impatience communicated to the client. When surveyed, in-house counsel stated that although the client was extremely satisfied with the quality of the work product, their experience with one of the key partners was so distasteful that they were willing to walk and had already initiated efforts to retain new outside counsel. The key partner, she said, constantly challenged the company’s business decisions in a very abrasive manner and usually spoke in condescending and impatient tones. Several members at the client’s company had reported similarly unpleasant experiences. As a result of conducting a satisfaction survey, the firm was able to salvage the account by assigning a different partner as the point person.
If a client complains to you about the “personality” of someone in your firm, take the complaint seriously. Thoroughly investigate the complaint by clarifying with the client the reason for the dissatisfaction and identifying who at your firm was involved. Find out if it was an isolated incident or an ongoing conflict. Acknowledge the importance of the issue to the client and present alternative arrangements for moving forward. Perhaps you can introduce another partner or staff member who can serve as the point person with the client. If you are in a small firm and you do not have that option, you need to change the behavior. If it does not change, the client’s annoyance will likely fester into resentment, and eventually he or she will leave.
For more tips, check out our article on “The Top Five Reasons Why Clients Leave and How to Prevent It.”